In each of us men there is a longing for companionship, and I’m not talking about fraternal companionship. Yes, despite our often futile attempts to hide our emotions we men feel a need to be with a special lady friend (or man friend depending upon your persuasion) that we can spend the length of our days with.
Every now and then, we are lucky enough to find a woman who feels the same way. After a considerable amount of alcohol and a close inspection of our “monetarials”, these women sometimes agree to be our girlfriends. Now, rather than talk about love and caring and all that junk, I would like to take a moment to analyze the financial outlook at these girlfriends. There are obvious costs we are obliged to shoulder whence having a girlfriend: dinners, movie tickets, abortions, etc. However, there are hidden costs that we often overlook.
For example: laundry. Every time my girlfriend stays the night, I hear this: “Do you have something that I can sleep in?” Being the gentleman that I am, I say, yes, of course, babygirl, and hand her some boxers and a white-T. (Though on several occasions I’ve suggested to her that sleeping ‘free and wild’ is a better alternative, to which she largely complied)
The other day my babygirl was feeling generous and decided to organize all my dirty clothes and left them by the washing machine so that I could easily wash them; she even did a couple of loads of laundry for me. Oh, how sweet you must think. She says to me “You know, you have so many clothes to wash you should just take them to the laundry mat and do them all at once”, since of course I have a small washer.
I took her advice. I went to the laundromat with 4 huge bags of dirty clothes only to discover that it would cost me $50 to have them cleaned. At that point I didn’t have much of a choice. When I got the clothes back I opened the bag to find that I hadn’t worn half of the clothes in there. Plus, I found three thongs, two bras and a pair of booty shorts reading “hottie” across the ass; those, however, turned out to belong to my roommate, Jay. Another one of the bags was entirely her laundry! What the hell. My babygirl had been deceiving me; leaving her dirty clothes at my house knowing that I would absentmindedly throw them in with my laundry! My laundry bill would be cut in half without all of the t-shirts and boxers she sleeps in! Will I do anything about it? Of course not.
But it doesn’t end there. See Page 2 >
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February 12th, 2007 at 8:53 am
Cute observations…OK, and true. But poor guys would be lost (though richer) without us…ask my husband! LOL
February 12th, 2007 at 9:14 am
Whats funny is that you have a whole blog about how you use to get all these gifts from women.
February 12th, 2007 at 9:18 am
Yes Ironic I know.
February 12th, 2007 at 12:24 pm
I’m a girl.
There’s one reason I wanted to comment, and that is about showering. My hair length has constantly varied. I’ve had short hair, I’ve had long hair, and I’ve even had a G.I. Jane style shaved head. With each variant of hair length, it takes different variants of time to wash. Also, different shampoos and conditioners are needed. Currently, I am growing my hair out long just for the hell of it. Just because I’ve never done it before. (I’ve never had my hair past shoulder length before this, except on a bribe.)
Shaved head is so easy. Rinse your head. Maybe in 2 days, you will need shampoo.
Short hair takes 5-10 minutes and less shampoo and you probably only need conditioner twice a month.
Long hair, on the other hand, gets greasy faster, is most likely damaged with split ends, and more likely to have dandruff. I never had to do this before, but I have to actually wash my hair twice. 1 large pump of my shampoo does no sort of cleaning to my hair. After a rinse, I try again. Finally, it feels like the shampoo actually cleaned my hair.
THEN, I have damaged hair. I have to use conditioner. And I can’t just rub it on and rinse. I have to let it SIT. I have to let it sit for at least 5 minutes to have any damn effect. This amounts to around 20-30 minute showers, and I hate it, and I’m not asking for it. I take showers at night most of the time now because I’m late when I take showers in the mornings. I’m not used to such long showers. I used to be able to take 5 minute, even 2 minute showers, if necessary. But hey, that’s what I get for growing out my hair.
No worries, in a year or two, my hair will be shaved again. But for now, be sympathetic and think about all the water bills that all the girls with long hair have to deal with. You’re lucky to spend only that much.
February 12th, 2007 at 12:31 pm
LoL. lucky eh!
February 12th, 2007 at 1:55 pm
Well I’m about as manly as they come, and my showers are l o n g. Seriously, 30 mins is the minimum for me.
They screwed up when they sold me my condo, because the water is included in my association fee.
I swear when I first moved in, I actually stayed in the shower once so long I got bored! I never thought that would happen. Never.
February 13th, 2007 at 5:36 pm
It could be worse. Think about how it is for my Fella - he has to spend $200 to fly me in for a visit, and then he runs into all the things you listed! Although maybe he saves money since I’m only around for maybe a total of three months out of the year. *shrug*
February 13th, 2007 at 7:00 pm
Yeah long distance relationships.. theres always a catch.. lol
February 13th, 2007 at 9:29 pm
haha..nice post man. Can’t put a $ sign on yo girl.
February 15th, 2007 at 10:16 am
You could think of it as an investment. If you find the right one and want to move in, you save all sorts of money vs. living alone (though you have roommate now). Two incomes and one cable bill is real nice.
February 18th, 2007 at 1:11 pm
$5 per drink means you hang out in the wrong bars, bub.
February 18th, 2007 at 2:47 pm
I like how you obscured the spellings of the specific prophylactic and love grease. Don’t want Google to find those words on your site?
February 18th, 2007 at 3:03 pm
LoL. Yeah I got that one from Single Ma after she posted her rebuttal hehe. I try to keep it rated PG-13 around here, unlike some of my colleagues (FJ!) lol
February 19th, 2007 at 11:47 am
It’s thoroughly repulsive that you call your girlfriend “babygirl.” ICK!
February 20th, 2007 at 2:50 pm
Yeah, everyone has their ‘pet names’ — I personally don’t like being called “honey” despite the obvious reference to my skin complexion. lol. jk
February 20th, 2007 at 2:56 pm
[…] Millionster is such a romantic. For Valentine’s Day he posted on the hidden cost of girlfriends. Single Ma strikes back with the hidden cost of boyfriends. […]
February 25th, 2007 at 8:32 am
[…] Just around Valentine’s day, 1mil at millionster wrote a no holds barred, funny to the bone article titled Love Hurts: The Hidden Cost of Girlfriends. Nothing is safe or sacred in the hands of this guy! […]
February 26th, 2007 at 11:03 pm
Ouch!
Being Caught While Cheating on your Girl On your Own Video!
http://www.liveleak.com/view?i=fd3_1172494896
February 27th, 2007 at 7:55 am
I think one big expense for me has been in the cell phone bill! I remember one month my cell phone bill exploded to 7 times its normal amount. Damn girls, they are lucky they are so soft and smell good!
Great Post!
Cheers,
Tmac
February 27th, 2007 at 11:14 am
Lmao. Yeah I didn’t think of the cell phone thing eh. But then I specifically only date girls that use Sprint PCS so all my calls are free. lol.
March 15th, 2007 at 10:12 pm
[…] Love Hurts, The Hidden Cost of Girlfriends sparked the rebuttal: The Hidden Cost of Having a Boyfriend (you guys cracked me up!) […]
May 10th, 2007 at 8:38 am
[…] I’m sure you’ll enjoy this one if you haven’t read it already. It’s one of the few articles in my entire site that have a page rank of 4. hehe. I’ve got a dentist appointment, and some house hunting to do today, so I’ll see ya later. […]
June 4th, 2007 at 10:49 pm
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH
September 18th, 2007 at 3:22 pm
I love you too! hehe
October 24th, 2007 at 10:42 am
[…] Popular Posts 10 Ways to Increase Your Credit Score (FICO)Love Hurts: The Hidden Cost of GirlfriendsAsk 1mil: How Can I Increase My Credit Score? […]
June 21st, 2008 at 9:06 pm
The costs you list for when she breaks up with you….those are THE COSTS OF BEING SINGLE. You should list them in a SEPARATE column and then do a cost benefit analysis.